What ever happened to good old fashioned lesbians?

Women eh.  Playing football?  Shouldn’t be allowed.

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John Terry Likes the French

Bezzy mates Wayne and Johnno

Well who doesn’t like the French? But England captain John is such a big fan he’ll even boff his friend’s girlfriend to inject some gallicness into his day; The Telegraph tells us;

A High Court judge has lifted a so-called “super injunction” obtained by the England footballer John Terry in what has been hailed as a major step towards ending the culture of secrecy in Britain’s courts.

Mr Justice Tugendhat decided he should lift a temporary gagging order he had granted which prevented the media from reporting that the £150,000-a-week footballer had conducted an extra-marital affair with the ex-girlfriend of his England team-mate Wayne Bridge.

A Sunday newspaper had been due to challenge Mr Justice Tugendhat’s decision today, which prevented it from running a story which was to reveal that Terry had had an extra-marital relationship with Vanessa Perroncel, a French-born underwear model who was until December the long-term girlfriend of Terry’s fellow England defender Wayne Bridge.

I once dates an underwear model. But she was German not French. And she modelled over-sized incontinence pants not lingerie. In fact she wasn’t all that sexy at all. But she did get me great discounts on incontinence pants. In fairness to her.

Good old, predictable JT though. I can’t believe he has never been on the pages of Cheekyonetwo before. I would write out a list of his recent dubious shenanigans but I fear we don’t have time or space right here. Or the inclination to be perfectly honest. Needless to say he’s a complex character and if any one of the England squad was likely to have dropped himself into this sticky media mud it was most probably going to be the Chelsea Big Man.

But I like him. JT reminds me of an English Jack Bauer. He’s ruggedly good looking. He doesn’t play by the rules. He doesn’t even know what the rules are. He’s a loose cannon, a wildcard, the joker in the pack, he shoots terrorists, has a super-injunction and saves the president. In fact, the more I think of it, he’s pretty much identical to Jack Bauer.

Jack. Don't mess with him.

Vanessa. DO mess with her.

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World Cup Draw?

This has been kept very quiet but apparently the groups for the forthcoming World Cup have been drawn. Now, I’m no football expert but it seems like all the seeds, and especially England, should waltz through the group stages to the fun and games of the knock-out part of the tournament. And The Sun were good enough to not go over the top about it. They clearly see that England’s greatest enemy is over confidence. And Cristiano Ronaldo.

This guy has done a pretty accurate and simple prediction for the groups. I know this because I can see into the future. Which is pretty cool. I’ll be honest; things aren’t looking too good for you. But there you go. Talking of attractive South Africans, Charlize Theron appeared at the draw in order to add some glamour to proceedings and even cracked a funny. When picking up the first ball out of the hat she called out “Ireland”. Cheeky girl. Imagine that; an attractive girl who knows about football and has a sense of humour. I’m off for a lie down…

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A Really Good Football-Related Post

Hmmmm… I won’t lie to you… I have nothing for you. Zip. Zero. Nada. But I saw this picture of a guy getting hit in the crotch and I needed to share. I know it looks a little fake but ignore that, it’s funny. Hmmmm…  I also saw this article on then and now eighties sex symbols which was really cool. I’ll be brutally honest, there’s no football link here at all but LOOK AT KATHLEEN TURNER! Wow! That’s some turnaround. Jeepers creepers!

I apologise for this ‘thin as thin can be’ post. I guess I just get lonely sometimes. I’ll make it up to you; here’s a picture of a chimp skiing, one of William Shatner and the movie poster for Air Bud, the golden retriever that plays basketball. Forgiven? I thought so.

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Miss of the Century?

I would have said it would be between Ursula Andress, Diora Baird and Miranda Kerr but our friends at YouTube seem to think it’s Rocky Baptiste. Well, i guess it takes all sorts. He is pretty ripped, I’ll give him that. And you can’t argue that his first four films are absolute classics. We won’t mention the fifth one and the sixth one wasn’t too bad.

You know; Rocky IV – the one with Ivan Drago – is still the highest grossing sports film of all time (here’s an unmissable clip of that fine movie’s finest moment). It sounds pretty impressive until you start to think of any sort of competition it may have. High grossing sports films? Hmmm, tricky. Remember Air Bud? The film with a Golden Retriever starring as a basketball player? No? Well that’s kind of my point…

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